SHOULD I FOSTER OR ADOPT?

My admiration for those who foster recued animals is enormous, but I frequently wonder how they can give up those animals in their care when a forever home is found.  My personal preference has always tended towards adoption rather than fostering, but that may be changing. What follows are my evolving thoughts on why true animal lovers should consider the possibility of fostering rather than adopting. Is it possible that fosters are performing a more valuable service to their animals than they would by adopting them?  

My wife, Val, and I have adopted several dogs over our lifetime.  But as, yet again, we see the signs of the impending loss of a beloved family member—the greying of the muzzle, the increasing number of days when sleeping seems more important than playing—a loss perhaps not imminent but undeniably inevitable, our thoughts increasingly turn to what we will do when our canine family is reduced by one. And with increasing frequency Val’s conversation veers toward fostering rather than adopting. 

I openly acknowledge that I possess a selfish streak. I adore the relationships that I build with my dogs over the years, and I dread the loss of each one of those relationships. The death of previous dogs left holes which never filled completely, even when a new dog entered the family.  Our only encounter with fostering seemed to reinforce my belief that I could never willingly give up a dog once they had entered our home. 



Lulu

This happened when a gorgeous young stray we named Lulu followed Val and Shadow home during their morning walk. We knew we could not care for another dog on a long-term basis and as we tried to locate Lulu’s owners, we thought that we had found a potential home with one of the techs at a local vet’s office.  This was not to be.  Through no fault of Lulu’s, the new owner found she was unable to keep Lulu and we had to take her back.   

 

It was then that we sought the help of our friends at PetRescue North (PRN) to find a forever home for Lulu. In the intervening weeks I quickly fell in love.  Lulu’s infectious smile and incessant playfulness not only brightened the lives of Val and me, but also of our other dogs. It was not long before a potential adopter was found, but I kept secretly hoping that something would render the application unsuitable.  There was no such problem, so we took Lulu to meet her potential new family.  Like us they were instantly smitten!  And, with mixed emotions, we left Lulu with her new family.  It turned out to be a perfect match: Lulu is loved and is given even more in the way of fun and care than possibly even we could provide.  Yet there is not a day goes by when I do not think of her. So how could I put myself through this on a regular basis?  

I discovered some possible answers to this question while planning the creation of materials aimed at increasing the number of foster available to PRN, materials which are still in the planning stage. As part of the process I posted a request on the PRN Facebook page for input from fosters regarding why they did what they did.  The response was immediate and passionate, and I have included some of those responses here.  I have had to edit some of the content because of space and repetition of ideas but note that in those edited portions several themes such as the number of dogs rescued by fostering rather than adopting appeared time and again! 

 

 

Catrina Harris said,  I always look at it like this . . . when you foster and let them go, you are giving them a chance at life, for a great home . . . letting go of one always means saving another life . . . if you keep them all, you are limited . . . .You may only be able to keep 5 dogs/cats in your home permanently . . . that is 5 dogs you have saved during the course of his/her life . . . which could be 15 years. Great, you saved 5 dogs in 15 years . . . but if you foster 5 dogs a year and find them homes . . . in 15 years you have saved 75 dogs. 

Sarah Speicher responded to my request by saying, Each time you let go, that's another happy family you helped create . . . It's not easy to let go, but that's when you get yourself another foster and pour all that loving onto them. 

Stephanie Hardee-Gant wrote . . . I love being a foster. The first time . . .  I won't lie. I cried like a baby when Rupper was adopted. But it always make me feel like I'm able to help and give love to so many more dogs this way. 

Catrina Harris again: There is no feeling like handing over your foster to their forever home . . . it is bitter sweet, but I keep in touch with a lot of my adopters years later . . . and they are some of my best friends now . . . I not only found these pets awesome homes, I gained friends all over the U.S. 

Cindi Depriest Van Vleck: I fostered to save lives because I know w/o foster homes none can be saved. Was it hard to let them go . . . yes some . . .  but each time the dog let me know that they knew the new family was theirs so it made letting them go easy .The pain of losing one foster was always replaced by the new face that needed a home for a while. 

Tanya Francisco Nelson: Another thing about fostering . . . it can work our great for people who travel a lot. This way you can have all the enjoyment of a pet when it is convenient for YOU without a full time commitment when it isn't. And you're saving lives. 

Alicia Merlino: A fostered dog may be more desirable because a potential family will know more about how the dog acts in that environment. 

Debra Williams: You may want to touch on the fact that by fostering dogs you give them a much higher chance of remaining in a forever home. Because they were fostered, they generally have been housetrained & learned some basic commands---which makes fostered dogs very appealing to those looking to adopt. Also, because a dog is living in a home versus a shelter--the foster family is able to get to know the dog & therefore pass on accurate information about how the dog behaves in a home setting. A foster family is more apt to know if the dog has any special behavioral needs. I think that the more info available to prospective adopters the better---kinda helps eliminate any surprises---and therefore should reduce the chance of a dog being returned.

 

In addition to the math showing how many more animals can be saved by fostering rather than adopting, an important--and often under-emphasized--role of the animal foster is found in the last two comments: the socialization, training, and preparation of the animals for a forever home.  Frequently, foster animals are placed in foster homes with other animals and with children.  The animals become used to living an environment as part of a family, they learn the rules and expectations in such environments, lessons they can often not learn in shelters. Successful adoptions involve the correct placement of particular animal temperaments in homes suited to those temperaments.  Shelter life is an abnormal environment for an animal and behavioral or temperamental tendencies may be masked in these situations.  Foster homes provide valuable opportunities to learn the true nature of an animal and match them to suitable adopters. 

While the staff and the volunteers of recue organizations provide the heart and the compassion of an animal rescue organization, the backbone, the ribs, the skeleton on which everything else hangs, the structure that makes everything else possible is a strong network of foster homes.  Some organizations do not have a physical shelter and rely entirely on their foster families.  In those organizations that do have a shelter, every dog placed in foster care leaves a space open in the shelter which can be used to save another animal. 

However, please don’t think of fostering as a cheap or easy way of receiving the benefits of a pet without the responsibility.  Fosters must play an active role in the placement of their charges by transporting them to adoption events, by ensuring the animal is ready for adoption, by providing appropriate medical care (although this is frequently paid for by the rescue organization) and by training.  It is a huge task, but if the response to my request for input from fosters is any indication it is also hugely rewarding!

 

To all fosters out there, our gratitude cannot be expressed loudly enough. Without you there would be no animal rescue movement! To those thinking of adopting, would you be more suited to fostering?  If you have room for two animals why not adopt one and use the other space to foster? With the nationwide pressure on available shelter space, foster homes may be even more valuable than adoptive homes at this time in attempts to move towards becoming a no-kill country. 







Shadow







Am I ready to become a foster rather than an adopter?  I’m not sure yet, but I’m certainly a lot closer than I was a couple of years ago, and the valiant heroes quoted above played a massive role in this change.  I still dread the day when I have to make the decision because it means one of my family members—probably Shadow, simply because he is the oldest—is gone. Hopefully, it is still a few years away but perhaps that will be his legacy . . . that the love he brought into our lives will be shared with more than one dog in the future.  I think he will be happy with that idea! 

 

CONSIDER BECOMING A FOSTER HOME FOR A RESCUED ANIMAL! 

 

As a final aside, to all fosters who responded to my request for information, thank you so much.  The materials your input was originally intended for will be forthcoming!